Toilet Paper

What did I learn from living in China? I’ve been asked this question a few times recently, having recently returned from the place. I was there for four years, long enough (most people suppose) to learn something. Every once in a while, someone in China assumed that I learned how to eat with chopsticks or use a squat toilet, easy to master situations that present problems for some foreigners. But I grew up in New York – I’ve been eating with chopsticks and relieving myself in strange and uncomfortable locations for years.

So what did I learn? I learned how to speak Chinese, but that seems too obvious. I recently got a new apartment, my first real, legal, New York apartment that I’m in all alone without roommates or relatives. The place is totally empty. And, out of habit, I’ve put rolls of toilet paper everywhere: on my nightstand, the table I eat breakfast on, on the kitchen counter, and of course in the bathroom. One type of paper instead of four: paper towels, napkins, tissues, and of course, toilet paper.

With the exception of industrial accidents, such as large dogs or heroin addicts having bodily accidents, I think I’ll be OK with toilet paper for all of my household paper needs. It actually works best for most situations – I think many Americans just think it’s weird or gross to use toilet paper outside of the bathroom, but I’ve been liberated. Thanks, China.